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Rock the Garden 2013 Lineup (our educated guess)

This widely-acclaimed annual feature attempts to read the minds of the programming and event planning departments at the Current and Walker Art Center and guess the top-secret lineup of Rock the Garden, their back-patting summer festival of love and overpriced Summit EPA. This is our way of sneezing in the Current’s oatmeal.

Best Guess: Death Cab for a Cutie
Are they big enough to headline? Who knows. I just posed the question “who, as headliner, could be as droll as past headliner The Decemberists?” and Death Cab for Cutie were the obvious answer. If they are not longer an active band, sub in The Postal Service.

Dream: Pulp
Wouldn’t this be fantastic? I mean, c’mon, Pulp. If I have to explain this to you, we can’t be friends.

Supporting Slot 1
Best Guess: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Yep, we got the guy who raps about used clothes and gay marriage. They GET IT.

Dream: The Knife
Yeah, it wouldn’t work on virtually any level having this band play an outdoor fesitval on a warm sunny day, but still, The Knife. Hearing “Pass This On,” “Heartbeats” and “We Share Our Mothers’ Health,” alongside the crazy new material from Shaking the Habitual would be insane. And if you want political? If you have a couple idle hours,  I have a new album for you.

Supporting Slot 2
Best Guess: Polica
It seemed like last year it was inevitable that the band whose every move gets documented by our paid music critics would be in the lineup—it seems implausible that they aren’t part of it this year. (Side Note: OMG, are they going to bring Bon Iver with?!)

Dream: Death Grips
Maybe I am a masochist, but I think it would be hilarious to watch the frantic, boiled-over anger of Death Grips as people are trying to take pictures of themselves to post on Facebook (“make sure to get my beer in the picture”). Maybe they could have their latest album cover as a backdrop? While their explosive live show would get some people going, and probably be a highlight of the day, I am guessing I have about as much chance getting a slot in the lineup as these dudes do.

Token Locals
Best Guess: Greg Grease/Prissy Clerks
Both are great and are groups The Current is “promoting” to start the year, so either would be an excellent addition. Hopefully they don’t drop the ball on this one and go 4 for the “easy” choice and miss out on showcasing one of the many talented, original bands we have in our scene.

Dream: oh, I don’t know– GuanteFoodPyramidBlindShakeLeisureBirdsAnimalLoverMarijuanaDeathsquadsGayWitchAbortionTokiWrightBruteHeartSkoalKodiakBigQuartersTeenageMoodsOaksMotherofFireSTNNNGWizardsAreRealTenderMeatOrchardThiefGospelGossipExNunsIs/IsWebOfSunsetsBuffaloMoonMrHideRobustWorldsClapsWeirdVisionsISelfDivineDoshMiamiDolphinsDarkDarkDarkMallyBigCats!RoniaFithlyHunsBeatDetectives

Actually, now that I think about it, can this just be an all day festival using the reach of the Current to celebrate the amazing bands we have RIGHT HERE in the Twin Cities?  That would be awesome.

josh keller :Writer / co-founder